「往事不要再提，人生已多風雨....」張國榮絕響的歌聲，迴盪在午夜，有一種特別的感覺！
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"Let the past remain in the past, life has seen enough storms..." Leslie Cheung's voice echoes in the midnight, bringing a unique feeling!
時間，真的是最好的治療師。沒想到，在不知不覺中，我也走到開始會回憶的年紀。好神奇的一件事情，記得以前小的時候，最常聽到的就是一句：「以後你長大就會明白了！！」
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Time truly is the best healer. Before I knew it, I reached the age where I start to reminisce. It's funny; when I was young, I often heard the phrase, "You'll understand when you grow up!!"
電冰箱最新食譜書(已絕版) 一人餐桌這邊買唷
成長的體悟：與其說教，不如體驗
最近在車隊認識一些七年級的朋友，不知道從什麼時候開始，這句話也是我最常跟他們說的一句話。只因為，人老了，看多了，很多事情也懶得講了。因為與其去講，不如讓對方去親身體驗，稍加指點便可。
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Recently, I met some "7th grader" (born 1981-1990) friends in the car club. I don't know when it started, but that phrase became what I say to them most often. Simply because I'm getting older and have seen too much, I'm too lazy to explain many things. Instead of preaching, it's better to let them experience it firsthand, with just a little guidance.
我想這就是人生中很重要的一個階段吧，姑且我先說這是一種回饋，回饋自己的經驗！
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I guess this is an important stage in life; let's call it "giving back" my own experience!
轉念：回憶其實可以很美
許多人對逝去的感情，是抱著遺憾與傷痛的。過去我也是這樣，但是不知道為什麼，我現在卻認為，回憶其實也可以很美。
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Many people hold regret and pain regarding past relationships. I used to be the same, but for some reason, I now believe that memories can actually be beautiful.
以前總是把「逝去的留給記憶，回憶的只剩美麗」掛在嘴邊。發現自己只是說說，根本沒有去力行他。突然覺得自己一付道貌岸然的嘴臉，想想真是噁心！也許這就是成長吧？
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I used to always say, "Leave the past to memory, only beauty remains in recollection." I realized I was just paying lip service and not practicing it. Suddenly, I felt like a hypocrite—disgusting to think about! Perhaps this is what growth is?
一般人也許不喜歡去談過去，因為總帶點程度不一的傷痛，我想這是因為還忘不了那受傷時的痛楚。如果換個角度來看，把受傷的經驗當做自己成長的動力，也許狀況會完全大逆轉也說不一定。
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Most people might dislike talking about the past because it carries varying degrees of pain, likely because the sting of the injury hasn't faded. If we change our perspective and treat the painful experience as motivation for personal growth, the situation might completely turn around.
愛的真諦：不要求對方改變
我自己談過了幾段感情都沒有結果，雖然這幾年依然不是很順利，但是跟之前比較，我發現自己近年來心境已經不同了。沒有結果，我會給予祝福，因為我深深的體認到強留在身邊的不會長久，離開只是早晚的問題。
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I've had several relationships that didn't work out. Although things haven't been smooth in recent years, compared to before, I realized my mindset has changed. If there's no result, I offer my blessings, because I deeply realize that what is forced to stay won't last; leaving is just a matter of time.
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I no longer ask my partner to change. Instead, I tell myself that I love the person I saw at first sight. Loving someone means loving everything about them. Deliberately trying to change someone is just trying to create another version of yourself—an incomplete and distorted one.
會這樣子想，其實也是因為我也不希望對方要我改東改西。我一直認為，當兩個人在一起的時候，對方其實是鏡子裡反射出的另一個自己，只是性別顛倒罷了。
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Thinking this way is also because I don't want my partner to ask me to change this or that. I've always believed that when two people are together, the partner is actually another self reflected in the mirror, just with a swapped gender.
成為那個懂他的人
曾經有幾段破碎的感情，但是現在的我是幸福的，因為我很確定不論時間長短，我是被愛過的！被愛是一種幸福，珍惜這個幸福，回憶也可以很美的，不是嗎？
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I've had a few broken relationships, but now I am happy because I am very certain that, regardless of the length of time, I was loved! Being loved is a form of happiness. Cherishing this happiness makes memories beautiful too, doesn't it?
其實一輩子在尋尋覓覓的只是一個懂你的人，
那麼就讓自己成為那一個懂他的人吧！
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Actually, a lifetime is spent searching for someone who understands you. So, let yourself become that person who understands them!
* 本文為 2005 年 6 月 21 日之生活隨筆。
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